We are obsessed with what other people think of us. We look to other people’s opinion of us as if our lives depend on it. And our lives now actually do depend on other people’s opinions. We literally worry ourselves sick thinking of: what will people think of me when if do this, we actually end up not going for our dreams.
Negative responses from our friends and family drive us crazy yet we become addicted to being told what to think and what to do. We become paralyzed at the thought of being different and if we get the courage to jump off the cliff into a world of uncertainty and something go wrong we quickly retreat to our safety parachute. Yet in all this we are miserable. In relationships that are no longer working because “the devil you know…” or going back to the job you hate so much because of the security it offers.
Day by day we die a little inside because we are not leaving the life we would love to live. Les Brown describes it as having sold our souls. As a consequence we are now in bondage to the safety nets and the cages we have built around ourselves. Weeping and trapped in a tiny dark corner and are scared to take a step into the lives we desire.
So how can we go for the lives we desire?
Be passionate about what you want. Love it with all your heart. if you want to be a professional football player then you have got to love football. Instead of loving pottery but pursuing football. You will be miserable when you are doing that which you do not love. That which you are not passionate about.
- Get in the boxing ring. You have to be in it to win it. Take steps towards your dreams. Do not stand at the gate and keep wondering and keep looking for other people’s opinions about your endeavors. It is good to do your research about your projects but when you get stuck at that stage then Huston, we have a problem.
- You do not know that if you jump, will you make it. But as the Chinese say- FALL DOWN SEVEN TIMES, GET UP EIGHT. Be resilient and refuse to give up. Be patient and keep going. Take the punches and be willing to take more because as you keep going in pursuit of your dream at some point a transaction will take place and you will get what you have been working towards.
- Sacrifice your time, your money and be willing to cut out some friends (sacrifice your old life). As they say- BIRDS OF A FEATHER… so if you are trying to achieve something but you have friends who are always taking you to the pub then you will reap the pub. FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REATION-that is a physics law and it applies in real life. You reap where you have been putting your efforts. Time is a very expensive commodity and you better make sure you use it wisely. Every second you waste is a second that you could have spent investing in your future. It is good to take time and rest but when you are now spending all your time resting then you know you are to check yourself out. Hold yourself accountable for how you spend your time.
- Take hold of your mind. The power is in your head. Develop mental strength. Do not allow negative thoughts to go in and out of your head like people coming in and out of a bus station. Choose what thoughts can come in. Positive thinking is the way.
- Use your imagination. Visualize the life that you want to live. Put in the effort. You deserve that. You deserve to be happy. You were created to be happy. Look around there are people who have dared to dream. People laughed and laughed at them but they kept going. They took the hits but they kept their dreams in the mind. And in the end life delivered to them the mail they deserved and had been waiting patiently for, SUCCSESS.
- Trust in yourself. Trust in your abilities. Trust in the process.
- Know and understand that you may lose. A friend of mine said- life is a game; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes you throw a six or sometimes you hit a one in playing dice. Sometimes you are high up and can smell your goal but then you can get bitten in a game of snakes and ladders. But that should not discourage you from trying. You may have been training for the tournament and then you hear that you will not be making the team. Even when you do not reach your goal you will never be the same person as when you started the marathon towards your goal. The changes in you will be visible to you and to those around you. You may even choose to pursue something else. In short, know when to fold. It is perfectly normal to say- this just is not for me. After so many tries you will know when to change courses. Not to give up. Failure is a part of life.
I am not going to lie and tell you that it is going to be easy. It is not. It is simple but it is not easy. When you are going to parties and watching television someone out there is spending their time getting smarter and perfecting their craft. While you are there in one place just trying to get by. So take hold of everything you do.
If we were all scared to dream then there would be no inventions. No cars, cellphones or Facebook. These things did not just appear from nowhere somebody first had a dream then they started to try and try to bring those dreams into realization. Stop doubting yourself and saying you are not qualified. Do you know how many millionaires never made it to college? Stop saying you are too old; some millionaires reached their prime when they were old.
The most inspirational story is that of KFC owner- COLONEL SANDERS. At sixty five he retired and tried to commit suicide but as he was trying to write a suicide letter he decided to write things he could have achieved instead. He started selling his fried chicken to restaurants and he was rejected one thousand and nine times. His dream was realized on his one thousand and tenth time and he became a multi-millionaire when he was eighty eight years old. You should really be ashamed for giving up on your first try. This old man at sixty five was going around restaurants, believing in his product. Even when they kept saying NO there was a resounding YES from within him that just would not let him quit. I bet they even laughed at him but he did not take heart and in the end it panned out.
When people are gossiping about you know that you are on the right path. Keep going. Leonardo da Vinci said- IT HAS LONG SINCE COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT PEOPLE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT RARELY SET BACK AND LET THINGS HAPPEN TO THEM. THEY WENT OUT AND HAPPENED TO THINGS.